Note To Self: Anger Is Not The Problem

Governmental institutions are the bane of my existence.

Over the last three months, I had the great displeasure of trying to solve an issue with such an institution. I’m sure there are phenomenal examples out there, where the processes are slim and the responses are fast.

The one I engaged with was the other type.

Even though grinding your face across sandpaper is a more fulfilling experience than going through their processes, I walked straighter with my shoulders back. Engaging with these behemoths is nothing short of heroic. Now I know how Hercules felt when he fought the hydra: for every solution you provide, they create two more problems.

This builds up one particular emotion. It starts in the chest, tightening it before doing the same to the shoulders, up the neck where it peaks in a clenching of the jaw: frustration.

When frustration boils over, it turns into anger. An emotion seen in today’s world as a loss of control. Someone who gets angry is weak of character. It has been demonized to the point where it’s easy to forget that it carries something else.

Then here’s the thing: anger is not the problem.

It’s what you do with anger that makes it boon or bane.

Anger only becomes the enemy when it’s uncontrolled. When the grip on anger is loosened, it turns into rage. At its worst, rage turns destructive. It’s a flamethrower of an emotion. It engulfs everything in its flames, burning so hot that the bridges it ravages are sometimes rendered irreparable. But that’s not even the worst part. The person burned most in its inferno is yourself.

This destructive power carries tremendous energy. But energy is neither good nor bad inherently. Instead of causing havoc and regret, how can this energy be used in a positive way?

Focus.

Focused anger is like a laser. If anger can be centered on a single purpose, it can hit its target with perfect accuracy and to great effect.

That laser is known as determination.

It’s this laser I used to get me through the bureaucracy, pinpoint the true problem, and act on it. I might not have bested the beast, but I’ve come much closer than raging would’ve ever got me. I stopped arguing with the staff. Instead of them issuing demands, I flipped the script. Now the ball is in their court.

So when you’re in institution hell, don’t create your own by letting an emotion run wild that could get you out of it.