Year 2024 Recap: What a Ride!

New Year’s Eve is around the corner. I know it has been said to death, but this year really flew by for me. But when I look back at everything that happened this year, I can safely say that it was jam-packed with life lessons. I just had to distill my learnings and publish them in the last blog post of the year.
Buckle up, because here are the main lessons that I learned in 2024.

Self-Respect leads to Self-Esteem

This year I came across an ancient saying that spoke to me:

“Respect is earned, not given.”

When you first read this saying, you might feel compelled to think that it is referring to the respect that other people give you. But I think there is more to it. Rather, it seems to me that it can also refer to the respect you have for yourself. If you do not respect yourself, who will? Most people will not, I can promise you that.

There is a peculiar problem that arises when you start to respect yourself more: People will notice, but not necessarily like it. Other people want you to stay the same. They do not like it when you escape the little box they have put you in. Change is hard enough by itself; you do not need other people to try dragging you back into the cell you escaped from.

Here are the main indicators I found this year that suggest people might not like that you are beginning to respect yourself:

They act differently when other people are around
People who completely change when other people are in the room are not a good sign. I know some people who are completely different individuals when I interact with them alone or in a group. This behavior shows a lack of authenticity and confidence on their part. But if they start treating you worse when other people are around, beware. These are the people who secretly despise your upward climb. Otherwise, why would they feel the need to wear a different mask if they are confident in who they are? They would not have to drag you down.

They always criticize you
If somebody feels the need to criticize, it says much more about them than about you. You have to distinguish between friendly banter and actual criticism, though. But if the latter is the case, then beware. If these people criticize you unfairly and you do not do anything about it, your subconscious registers your inaction. I believe that is what the ancients meant when they said that your soul cries every time you are treated unfairly, and you do not defend yourself.

They do not trust you
If you have given people enough reason to trust you, but they still do not, then that is their problem. Again, it says much more about them than about you. People who do not trust are usually not to be trusted themselves. If they are not truthful themselves, then why would they not struggle to believe that someone else is? Also, it is extremely disrespectful on their part. What they are saying in actuality is that you are a liar – one of the worst insults to your character.

They are not happy for you, even though they should be
Friends should be happy for you if something positive comes your way. If they do not feel delight, but jealousy, are they really your friends? I think not. If they have to downplay your accomplishments, they show a lack of respect for them. Do yourself a favor and run the other way.

In my opinion, self-respect is the most important prerequisite for self-esteem. If people show the above-mentioned indicators multiple times, you might want to think about having them in your life in the future.

Should people act this way, cut them off clean; realize that self-respect is the prerequisite of self-esteem.

Health is the Foundation for a Good Life

This year, my mother had a bad health scare. One of her brain’s nerves became inflamed. She lost the ability to move the right side of her face for about three months. After an intense treatment with cortisone, the inflammation disappeared. What frightened me most was not the fact that she could not move parts of her face anymore. It was her fear that she would never be able to move the right side of her face again. Because of this fear, her enjoyment of life plummeted. Seeing her so scared broke my heart. It reminded me of one of life’s most valuable gifts. When you have it, you’re not grateful for it. When you don’t have it, it becomes the only thing you want: health.

The situation with my mother also made me think of my grandfather and his battle with cancer. I realize now (but still not enough) what a beautiful blessing it is to wake up healthy in the morning.

For whatever you may aspire or strive, realize that good health is the foundation for everything in life.

Blood is not thicker than Water

You do not get to choose your family. Mark Manson points out that, especially during the holidays, you realize that you can love people (your family) without necessarily liking them. I tend to agree. But even though I am blessed with the family members that remain in my life, there is a caveat here. What if the people in your family are more of a force of negativity than positivity? In such cases, you must reserve the right to cut these people out of your life. There is no logical or emotional reason whatsoever to keep bad family members in your life. Why would I spend a truly finite resource like time on people who are not good for me, just because I share blood with them? I would much rather see my friends and have a jolly old time with them.

Whether uncle, sister, niece, or father, realize that blood is not thicker than water.

You will always be Cringe to some People

I am too old to use the word “cringe,” but here we go.
If you are your true self, you will seem cringe to some. This might appear negative, but I do not think that it is. On the contrary, it is extremely positive. It serves as an indicator of which people harmonize with you most. The people that find you cringe are not meant to be in your life. But the people who appreciate you despite your “cringe” qualities are the ones that truly fit you. You should value having them in your life.

Even though some people might infringe, realize that to some, you will always be cringe.

You cannot get something from Nothing; You have to force Change

If you are in a situation that does not fit you anymore, it is not the responsibility of other people to get you out of it. The responsibility is solely yours. Complaining when things do not go your way is unhelpful; imagine how futile it is if you do not take any action at all. This all points to one thing: No one is coming to save you. If you want to alter your life’s circumstances, you must take action. I know it is hard. I know it is scary. That is precisely why change has value.

Life itself will not simply rearrange; realize that you cannot get something from nothing—you have to force change.

Thank you to everybody who reads this blog—it means so much to me! I wish you all the best for 2025, and I hope to see you there!

All the best,

Tommy